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  • Gareth Ellis

Blogmas 2017 Day 6 – Crying isn’t a soft thing

When I was younger I thought that crying was wrong.

I thought it was a sign of weakness and something that soft people did. Then, one day just like Chandler in Friends something got me and ‘I opened a gate.’

From there I cry at things so easily. I still try to hold on to the manly demeanour I think I have but underneath I’m incredibly soppy and I cry so easily nowadays.

On J and I’s wedding day I cried four times. When I read the note she left me in the morning, when she walked down the aisle, when I did my speech and then when we had our first dance.

The reason I tell you all this is because I want to ask you all a question: What is the shame in crying? Why do we always assume that crying is something that you don’t ever associate with men?

I know plenty of manly men who I’ve seen shed a tear, for a host of different reasons. I’ve been known to cry at TV programmes and movies, songs and just things that people say sometimes.

Yet still I find myself on a host of occasions trying to hold in my tears, still I can’t let go of the fact that I don’t want to cry.

Everyone feels better after a good cry don’t they? Yes you might look terrible and your eyes go all puffy, you can’t breathe and you get a weird blocked up nose. But still, every now and again you need a good cry.

People, especially men, need to realise that there is nothing wrong with that and being in touch with your emotions is actually a good thing. Society may tell you that crying is wrong/weak/’girly’ but I can assure it that it really isn’t.

For years I was called a robot by my family because I flat out refused to cry, even though I probably really wanted to. Yes it was again a reference to Chandler in Friends, but it leads to people being really surprised when you do cry.

The old saying goes that it’s better out than in and despite that making me think of something hilarious it’s so true.

So guys, don’t think that holding in your tears will make you manlier. It doesn’t, it just makes you more emotionless.

It takes strength to cry, not weakness.

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