Being a Dad is tough.
I don’t want to come across like I have things hard or that I don’t have any support because that’s far from true. I just mean some of the day to day aspects of being a Dad are tough.
And I don’t mind admitting that. Even though more is being done to help people with their mental health issues and to share their struggles verbally, it’s still hard for some people to open up and really talk. It’s taboo that we ask any questions or that we even raise a shrugged shoulder when someone asks us a question.
For example, Jess and I were out today, and as we walked past the local shop she said, ‘do you want to go on to home and give him his lunch and I’ll go to the shop.’
Now I’ve fed Rupert hundreds of times now and made him lots of different things, but my mind still races a bit when I have to think of his lunch or dinner. You instantly think of what they had for breakfast, and snack, and what they’re going to have for dinner. Will he throw it all on the floor? What do I have in reserve? Is he going to go mental in between me creating one culinary masterpiece and then inevitably making him toast when he rejects the spinach and ham omelette I made? (Actual example from today.)
I’m not a bad Dad. Actually, I’m a pretty good Dad. My son smiles when he sees me, cuddles into me when he’s poorly and we make each other laugh.
The problem I find is not doing the do, but who to speak to for advice. Jess gets a bit frustrated with me because she knows that I know the answer to something and wonders why I’m asking it. I just sometimes want a bit of reassurance that I’m doing something right – especially when it comes to Rupert.
When I look on social media I see lots of groups dedicated to Mums but not many that are devoted to Dads. Maybe it’s because we don’t do the whole talking about our issues thing very well, maybe it’s because we’re too good at everything (definitely not).
It must be the former because one of my best friends, who I’ve been friends with for more than 20 years has never spoken to me about any issues he’s having as a Dad, and I’ve never opened up to him either, yet we’ve spoken about loads of different issues over the years. And yet I know that he’s a wonderful Dad to his children and I’m sure he thinks the same of me.
Well, I’m putting this out there right now, I am open to hearing from any Dad, or Mum, out there who thinks they’re not doing a good enough job, because I will tell you that you’re smashing it. Seriously though, I’ve always seen the benefit in sharing a problem by talking about it and if anyone reading this is struggling, thinking they’re a rubbish parent, and want to talk then please let me know.
Being a Dad is seriously the best job I’ve ever had, but it’s also very tough.
