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  • Gareth Ellis

Dos and Don’ts of the First Trimester

After nearly a year of marriage and almost six years of this relationship, you think I’d know my other half. And I do to a certain extent, but with pregnancy comes a whole new list of ‘rules.’

Here’s a handy list of dos and don’ts I’ve picked up along this extremely fast-paced road of the first trimester.

Do: Be more attentive. It sounds obvious but something as simple as noticing that she now doesn’t eat broccoli, loves the smell of your hair gel or just needs to relax is amazing. You may not think they really notice those little things but trust me, when you’re getting up in the night to get her a drink because she’s really comfy after settling down after that 4th wee of the night then she’ll notice.

Don’t: Tell your partner in an argument to “wind their neck in.” Trust me guys, this is a major mistake even if your other half isn’t pregnant. It’s one of those statements you’ll instantly regret as soon as it’s slipped from your stupid mouth.

Do: Make allowances. If you’re a night owl who’s used to going to bed at 11pm every night then get used to bedding down a few hours earlier. And don’t complain. She didn’t care that the second half of the football had just kicked off before – she really doesn’t care now.

Don’t: Moan. Your other half is growing your little miracle in there. For God’s sake now is not the time to mention how your knee hurts because you stood doing the washing up for too long in a funny position. Her everything hurts right now and all you can do is your best to be more accommodating. If it means running the house, chores-wise, for a few months then just suck it up and get on with it. There really isn’t a medal waiting for you.

Do: Tell her she’s beautiful as much as you can. Your other half is probably feeling extremely self-conscious about her rapidly growing body, and there’s not a lot you can do about it – except there is. The power of words is amazing (says the writer) and reminding them just how beautiful/sexy/incredible you find them will work wonders. They are already worried about what your little one is doing to their body so they don’t need you telling them that top doesn’t fit any more. They know the top doesn’t fit – and it’s your fault.

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This takes me nicely on to the next don’t

Don’t: Try and take the moral high ground. If they say it’s your fault, it’s your fault. Trust me its best sometimes to accept defeat and accept that hormones are to blame for the fact she’s now in floods of tears because she couldn’t have a starter at the restaurant and everyone else got one. Just remember that it’s 99.9 per cent likely that they will forgive you for their outburst – as long as you don’t try to argue that she is irrational.

Do: Remember that whatever happens it’s likely that you’ll never be prepared for what is happening. Things change every day from her tastes to her moods (both of which can change hourly.) Just remember that you’re on this journey together and you’re no longer the most important person in this relationship.

Editor’s note: Not all of these stories actually happened to us – although I’m gutted I couldn’t have that starter.

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