• Gareth Ellis

Double the babies, double the love

We’re literally just a handful of days before we potentially meet our new little prince or princess, and now I’m starting to worry.

But these are different from the worries I had before Rupert was born. Then it was a fear of the unknown, scared that life was about to change beyond belief and terrified about whether I could be a good Dad. Days before Rupert was born I even questioned my own mortality – scared that one day I would leave him.

However, this time around I’ve been chilled through the pregnancy. I’ve known that I needed to step up around the house, look after Jess and Rupert and still try and look after myself. Sometimes I’ve got it right and sometimes I’ve got it wrong but at least I knew what was coming.

This time around I’ve had different worries – the biggest of which has been how the hell do you share your love between two children.

I love Rupert with every part of me, I justify feeling the same about Jess because it’s a different kind of love. But with another baby, how do you make sure that each of them is getting the love and attention they need? Their developmental needs will be so much different, and I don’t want to halt their progress or make it seem like I’m favouring one or the other.

I asked my Dad. He’s had two children and although I joke that he simply loved the second baby (me) more, he gave me some sound advice – you will always love them equally because they have such different personalities. He said that you love each child in a different way and that it’s not a case of giving up your love for one to give to the other.

I then spoke to one of my closest friends who has two children too. He and his wife had their two with a similar gap to that of Rupert and our new baby, so I wanted to see if he had any helpful hints or tips he could give me.

He gave me some wise words that surprisingly I hadn’t thought of before. He said that just as I love Rupert with my entire being I’ll feel the same about the second baby and that you don’t just have 100 per cent to share out 50/50, you’ll love both 100%.

It seems weird to think that until this weekend I hadn’t really thought of that. I had thought that when the new baby came along that I would have to give them so much more of my attention and that Rupert would naturally get less.

Other than that I’m not worried about anything, I’m a Dad, and dare I say it a bloody good Dad. Jess and I are a hell of a team and we will definitely raise two amazing children – who will get all of our love and attention – I may just need to grow eyes in the back of my head.

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