- Gareth Ellis
A Letter to Jess
As I write this my wife is currently 37 weeks pregnant. She’s sat reading to our 17-month old baby, who’s just got out of the bath.
She’s so uncomfortable right now and she’s struggling with the emotions of missing our families as well as the emotions involved with the added hormones. But each time she sees me or Rupert, whether we’ve just gone to the kitchen or we’ve been anywhere her face beams and she makes us feel a million bucks – even if we feel like £1.30. And that is the measure of Jess.
When I met Jess, she was shy. She was scared by social situations and would hate to be somewhere she wasn’t familiar, with people she wasn’t on friendly terms with. Still, now she hates driving somewhere if she doesn’t know what the parking will be like when she gets there.
Now, fast forward seven and a half (nearly eight) years and we are married with a son and a baby we’re just three weeks away from meeting. We have a lovely house, although currently, we’re spending too much time in it than we’d like, and Jess is one of the strongest women I know.
Right now, by carrying both of our children and then spending maternity leave off work with them, helping them grow in their first, formative years, she is racking up a debt that I can only hope to one day repay.
Today she worked her last day (from home) before starting her maternity leave and already she’s worrying. Worrying that she won’t be allowed out of the house, worrying that we won’t be able to split our time equally between two children who still need our attention, and worrying that she won’t be able to keep up the strength to stay awake through it all. Trust me, Jess, if you can find the strength to put up with me then this will be a doddle.
Of course, I’m kidding. Parenthood is no walk in the park. The hours are long, it’s pro bono, and you’re always on call 24/7. I suppose you could say the same about marriage.
To you Jess I say this. You are strong, you are beautiful, you are amazing, and you are loved. In (potentially) three tiny weeks we will meet the newest member of our family and it will be tough. It will push us to our limits and we will probably yell at each other, curse each other and I’ll probably be banished to the spare room at some point.
But just like everything else, we will rise above and we’ll smash it. Our little family will be complete and we’re NEVER getting pregnant again…EVER!