Family -the one thing you can’t change
Family; the one thing you can’t change, as much as you think you’d like to.
I’ve known people through the years who have told me they hate theirs, and even when mine piss me off the most I still can’t understand that logic. There aren’t really many more important people in your life than your family. I have a friend who literally beams at the mere mention of his nephews.
Go on. I’ll give you a second try to rank where your family fits in your life. If you didn’t say first then I don’t really understand.
Friends can come and go, even partners can disappear when you least expect it, but your family will always be there.
I grew up with a brother who went on to become my best friend. He’s a colossal pain in my arse sometimes but he’s someone I would give up everything to protect.
My mum and dad divorced when I was 7. We’re still a family whether they like it or not and I still find it hard not to defend them. So now the tables have turned. When they do or say something that upsets me; I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.
I’m not lucky. My family do and say things sometimes that I can’t comprehend. For whatever reason though I feel myself compelled to forgive them when they do something incredibly wrong, or don’t do the thing I have told them a million times to do.
Have I done the same with friends? Nope. Ex-girlfriends? God no. So why with your family? Or extended family for that matter?
That’s something I just don’t have an answer for. All I know is that it’s not rocket science. I just do one simple thing. Place my family above all else.
Over this Easter weekend I not only got to spend it with my own family but also with J’s – my soon to be in-laws – people who have treated me as family for the last 4 years.
J has a brother and a sister. Unbelievably funny and clever people who I now count as my own siblings.
When I get married next year I won’t inherit in-laws. I’ll love them as much as I do my own family because they will BECOME my family.
If you don’t have that, for whatever reason, I feel for you. I know not all lives can be touched by family in the same way and some have terrible problems. But if you needed them I guarantee one member of your family would be there.